Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
