Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
