Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize