if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
