I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
last night I used snow as a chaser
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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