I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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