I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Weβre leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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