I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
