So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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