i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
