Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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