On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
