??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
