Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
