Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
