I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
if only i could text you this smell
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
