If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
