He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
