just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize