margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize