I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
