WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
