Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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