The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dick very happy bro
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
