I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need water and some morals
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
