you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
