Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
