Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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