zippers are such a cool invention
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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