The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The air taste purple.
Randomize
