Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
