The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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