remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
