guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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