honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
