The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
