Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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