every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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