I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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