I can tuck mytits in my pants
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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