well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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