I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
