Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
