I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
