Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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