Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
