Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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