I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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