i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
