okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
