Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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