the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
