Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
