You're so nebulous sometimes
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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