i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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