what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
