there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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