she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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