It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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