Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
