he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
