never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Someone signed my nipple.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
