wakey wakey hands off snakey
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Randomize
