i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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